I get Quora emails that come across my phone every once in a while that really spark my interest. This morning this one came across and I was so moved with the answer that I had to share it.
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Q: "Why are people in their twenties anxious about figuring out their life and career?"
By Dushka Zapata
A: "I am 46 years old. By this I mean that I have been 20 and 25 and 29 (and everything in between.) I have at every age been "anxious" to "figure it out".
If someone asked me what these years have given me, I would say "Hello. My name is Dushka, and I am an expert at getting lost". Fortunately for me, stumbling around being lost is the only way to accumulate the experience required in getting found.
Here is the big fat secret adults keep from younger people.
Ready?
The age where you think you will have everything figured out never comes.
It doesn't exist.
To more directly answer your question, people in their late twenties are anxious about figuring out life because everyone is convinced that happiness lies on the other side of "figuring it out". Instead, happiness is now.
Figuring it out is supposed to be fun. It's why we are here. Feeling like you are the only person who hasn't is an illusion created mostly by yourself. Figuring it out is another expression for the pursuit of happiness.
Happiness is not "when I turn 30" or "when I find a boyfriend" or "once I get a job" or anywhere in the future. It's within the actual pursuit.
Resolve to make it an adventure.
Finally, if you were to ask me if it was normal/common to feel lost at 20, 30 and 40 I would say yes. We are all trying to find ourselves. Here is why: finding yourself is a moving target. The world changes constantly. We change constantly. Once you find yourself you have to begin again.
Hurray to getting lost at every age."
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