HOLA and happy Tuesday! We are only recently recovering from our trip to St. Louis, where we had a great time visiting friends and tailgating at an all day concert event over the weekend. We seriously had such a blast, and I'm afraid my liver is paying the high price of having all that fun.
These girls are amazing...
Of particular importance, however, were a few very deep, alcohol influenced, soul searching conversations with two of my nearest and dearest gal pals, Nicole and Rachel. Nicole and I spent the better part of the concert chatting about life goals and dreams from the amphitheater's lawn, while surrounded by drunks, picnic blankets, and hippies. We concluded that no matter what you do in life, make sure it's something you can do with limitless passion and something you can pour your entire heart and soul into. If you're in a career that doesn't allow you to freely do that, it's time to reevaluate your options. We only have one life. And it's not very long. We're already in our thirties (my big three zero is this September, boooooo). But if you think about that for a second, that could mean almost half of our life is already over! The time it took me to get to this point, is a little less than the time that I have remaining if I am lucky. Of course it only makes sense to seek out the things in life that you enjoy doing and surround yourself with those things at all times. Isn't this the meaning of life? To make the most of it?!
It's a lot like standing at a crossroads. But it's a strange, lonely, dirtroad, middle of nowhere crossroad metaphor about life. Duh.
If you go left, you have no idea what waits for you just over the hill. Perhaps you could be a stay at home mom for a little while, at least while the youngster(s) are little, explore the world a little, and do a little bit of much needed soul searching. But who knows how that will end up? What if you are miserable at home and begin to long for the day to day excitement of a career? What if you start to feel as if you are wasting away, wasting talent and knowledge that could be used to make the world a better place?
If you stay straight, you're stuck on a path to a meaningless career that you once thought you loved, but have recently learned that it's in fact not what you love. It may have felt right at one point in your life, but it just no longer feels like a fit. But you have so much of your life already invested at this point, so the struggle lies with asking yourself if you're willing to give all of that up at a moment's notice?
If you go right, there are things waiting down that road that you think can make you happy. Things involving hobbies, talents, interests, and things you've always been good at, but never really explored turning into a career. But the fear in going down this path becomes the question, "What if I start to hate the things that I've always loved?" Which is a very realistic scenario when one turns a hobby into a career. The very thing that makes our soul do a happy dance has a dark, ugly side when you're relying on that thing to put food on your table. Or worse, what if you can't make a career out of it at all? Small business ideas fail by the truckloads every day...
So which way do you go? What if someone held a gun to your head and told you to decide this very second or face death? Which way would you go? Only you get to decide, and only you get to travel down the road. It's a scary thing, but sooner or later, you're going to have to start walking.
Nicole later tagged me in this instagram post by @momentaryhappiness, which I loved:
Just wow. It could not be any more fitting to our conversation the other night, and it could not be any more perfectly stated. Embrace the uncertainty.
Later on that same night, Rachel and I ventured away from the lawn and concert crowd to go look for Pat, Chris' long lost cousin. And I literally mean long lost as in he was lost. We hadn't seen him since we were allowed through the gates for the concert. He had wandered off in his drunken stupor and no one had seen him since. We were all a little worried, and took turns searching for him.
After we bought a few beers, we gave up and sat down on the curb near the entrance to the amphitheater. We began to talk about college, remembering the good times from nursing school, and so forth. And we started talking about how shitty the college experience is for young people today. Yes it's great that everyone has the chance to get to go to school if they really want to. But they're just churning out grads with worthless degrees and high student loan debts, when they have no idea what they want out of life. They go to college because they are told they should. They take out loans becuase they are told they should. They major in nursing because they are told they should. And you know what happens later? They are miserable, in debt, and in a career that leaves them wanting more out of their life.
Rachel said she had to pick a major or she was going to lose her funding. So she picked nursing because she thought she was interested in it. I was a biology major, and began a Master's degree in molecular biology, not because I wanted to, but because I felt like it was easy for me and it made sense. Then I decided to go back to school and go to nursing school because I thought it was a better fit at the time. And now look at me. Painting and photography, as it turns out, are my life's passion. Making pretty things are my hobbies! Ha!
But college is such a waste of space for some people. Had I known what I know today, I would tell my 18 year old self just major in something general, like business. At least then I could have applied some of what I learned to a functional career today. It's not like I really need to know how to insert a foley catheter using sterile technique while I'm painting. Although, I probably would have used one at the concert if I had one, as I really hate using those disgusting porta-potties. If you know me, I'm probably one of the biggest germaphobes around. How about a side of herpes with your beer and music? UGH! And the smell! If there is anything worse than the smell of a thousand people all urinating into the same hole in the ground, it's the smell of a thousand people all urinating into the same hole in the ground in 90 degree weather in an enclosed receptacle.
End rant.
At least I can say that I have learned a lot about my life, myself as a person, and all the other niceties you're supposed to say when you basically realize that you've wasted all your time doing things that don't contribute to your overall happiness in life. Interestingly, I still have my same safety goggles from my college organic chemistery class that I use when I mix up the epoxy for my paintings. And I have an old box of expired face masks from the hospital and earplugs I use when I am sawing and building the canvas frames. So at least I learned to put safety first:)
