I REALLY JUST WANT YOUR EYEBALLS TO MELT RIGHT OFF

I took two new pieces to the gallery yesterday. So they are now on display until some lucky soul decides to take one of them home.

I say lucky because that person will be the new owner of a truly one of a kind piece and will possess something I have meticulously poured my heart and soul into.  I care about every piece, every canvas, every frame, every brushstroke, as if it were my own child.

Plus I have what some would call a questionably unhealthy obsession with perfectionism, which usually results in a truly unique, one of a kind piece that will hopefully melt your eyeballs right off your face.

These two pieces are now available:

"Poolside minibar"
20x24inches
acrylic, gold leaf, glitter, and epoxy resin on canvas
$528

"I only care about pumpkin spice lattes and like 3 people"
16x20
acrylic, gold leaf, glitter, and epoxy resin on canvas
$432

AMAZING SELFIES ON INSTAGRAM, A MYSTICAL DIY EASEL, AND I ONLY CARE ABOUT PUMPKIN SPICE LATTES AND LIKE 3 PEOPLE

I was working on a pretty sick construction project yesterday ya'lls. I challenged myself to build a new easel, and I like to think it was a surprising success.

But first I want to say something. My art account on instagram (@poshpaint) follows a lot of totally random people. To show my sense of community, I will follow back most of the people that follow me (at least until they post something so dumb or spammy that I am forced to unfollow them). But in having so many people that I follow, I do see a lot of really random stuff show up on my home feed.

Ok, anyways.

Every time I see a mom post an amazing selfie on instagram, I have to remind myself that most likely A TON of prep work went into making it look so flawless and effortless. Or at least I have to tell myself that to make myself feel better.  She probably took 700 photos, spent hours on her hair and makeup, the photo she posted was most likely the best of 100 other retakes on her phone before she just hired a professional, she had a nanny to get the kids to behave, and so on. Well, like I said, at least that's what I have to tell myself when I need to feel better about day three of not showering and the dishes in the sink are piling up.

Instagram can be such an inspiration, and such a source of self loathing and curling up into a tiny ball in the closet to not exist for just a little while.

It's hard enough for me to take time out of my day while Q is napping, just to work on my art.  Which is why I was SUPER DUPER impressed with my time management skills when I built an easel during his nap yesterday. Yes, an entire easel. I know.

I had the wild idea that I needed a new easel. And I also wanted to make it myself. I had a bunch of lumber scraps, and my trusty power tools, so I though what the heck why not.  I like a good challenge. I drew a rough sketch of what I had in mind, and went to town.

A bunch of mystical shit happened, and 2 hours later, I wasn't entirely sure how I even ended up with what I had made. All I know is I was on a mission. I wish I could recap the steps for you, showing you step by step how to DIY your own easel (if you're into that kind of thing), but I really can't. I literally have no recollection of the efforts that went into it after measuring out the lengths of the pieces.

Behold. My new easel:

I know there is a random tomato planter there. Mental note to move that.

It has hinges, wheels, a minibar, the whole shebang. All in all pretty shocked it turned out the way I wanted. 

Not to get all braggy about my unusual/new found time management skills, but I also finished a new piece last night too.  I know. I need to spend all this new extra time on my hands showering and cleaning up my house before guests come in tonight (my mom and sis are coming in from Illinois).

So this piece is only 16 x 20 (which is small for what I normally do), but I wanted to have some smaller pieces to take over to the gallery for the weekend.

Wanna know what it's called?!?

"I only care about pumpkin spice lattes and like 3 people." Duh. because it's fall and all.

"I only care about pumpkin spice lattes and like 3 people"
16x20 inches
acrylic, glitter, gold leaf, epoxy resin on canvas
$432.00 

And for all you moms out there: OMIGOD THIS WHOLE CHILD REARING THING IS INSANE. How's it going for you? Any tips? I could use a few right now...

Peace out and happy Fri-yay!

MONSANTO'S INSTAGRAM FEED, HOW TO CHILL LIKE A BOSS, AND CHERRY CHIP COFFEE IS THE DEVIL

Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Monsanto or any type of awareness campaign group against the company. I am simply an innocent bystander who happens to have made the following casual observations. These are my opinions and are provided purely for entertainment:)

Just when I started feeling a little lousy and down yesterday, it's like the universe knew I needed a little pick me up. I stumbled upon Monsanto's instagram feed by complete random accident. I have no idea how I even ended up there. But I'm glad I did because it was hilarious.

Their photos weren't hilarious. Don't be confused. They're not comedians posting worthy content to a humor craving audience. No. They are a food producing giant behind GMOs (food with DNA that has been spliced with bacterial DNA to better resist pests and disease - which sounds great in theory except people accuse them of playing God/GMO DNA can actually insert pieces of itself into human DNA when consumed/GMOs have been banned in most countries except ours/GMOs are linked to cancer in mammals).  They are also the company responsible for swindling scientific research results in their favor/paying off the FDA to approve things that shouldn't be approved/all kinds of awful crimes against humanity. Plus there is that whole aspartame thing they are responsible for. It was denied by the FDA 3 times, until they paid a pretty penny to finally get it approved. Even though there were clear links to brain tumors in all the research behind the chemical. Now aspartame is in everything.  Don't believe me? Just look online at all the articles about what they did.

Ok, so back to my original conversation. Seeing their photo stream was exactly the pick me up I needed. Why? Because each photo had about 300 comments that were pure genius. Hilarious jabs at the company. I think we are about to see a huge movement for natural, whole foods from the farm to the table. Buying and supporting local, natural ingredients. Consumers are fighting back against these corporate giants who lead the way in the day to day human experiment. <----By the way, if you haven't seen that documentary on Netflix, I highly recommend it.

I almost felt sorry for Monsanto for a second. Here they are, trying to post their fun loving pics to their Instagram account, hoping for a few likes and nice comments from friends. I feel bad for their PR guy that has this Instagram account on his phone.

Imagine for a second what it must be like to be this guy.

"Oh hey look, I have 200 new comments on that pic of the corn stalk I posted earlier."

*Slowly scrolls through comments in notifications tab*

"FML. I hate my job. I hate people."

*Takes another swig of vodka and swallows another Xanax.*

So as a reminder to appreciate where you are in life, at least you don't have that guy's job.

In other news, I tried cherry flavored coffee this morning and gagged on it. Cherry Chip to be exact. And it is the prime example of why I have trust issues. That and oatmeal raisin cookies that look like chocolate chips. This is not a haha or lol kinds of moment. This is real life, deeply rooted hatred for surprises in my food.

Yesterday, I took Cam to Home Depot with me to pick up some wood and some paint for upcoming art projects and other home improvement business. I love carting this kid around. He just loves shopping and chills out with me wherever we go. Prime example of his chilling capabilities below.

How to chill in the cart like a boss

I'll be working on some things today in the ol' studio. I have a special construction project I'm about to begin, and if it turns out ok, I'll post pictures. If it doesn't, we'll never speak of it again.

NEW INSPIRING COLOR PALETTES AND DO THEY MAKE SIPPY CUPS THAT DON'T LEAK??

I was casually perusing Pinterest last night, when all of a sudden, my eyeballs were held hostage by some pretty amazeballs color eye candy. I couldn't look away from the onslaught of color palettes I suddenly found myself swimming in. I just kept scrolling for more. No, I was not taking psychedelic drugs of any kind.

I'm quite certain that anyone following me on Pinterest was pretty ticked by the plethora of paint chips suddenly showing up in their feed. I mean, who else could possibly feel the same way about color that I do? That's right...probably not a soul alive. Like a pinning freak I pinned about 10-15 paint chips in a 5 second period before I told myself to quit before people unfollow me or report my account.

Do you have Pin Guilt like that? What is Pin Guilt? Pin Guilt is where you're actually afraid that you're going to piss people off by serially pinning things and spamming their feeds with dumb shit that no one else could possibly be interested in seeing but you. Highly neurotic tendencies is also a symptom. Pin Guilt can be alleviated by pinning this kind of stuff to a secret board, so only your eyes have to see your dumb shit. But sometimes it takes a lot of effort to make additional boards, or it makes sense to keep those pins with other things on a regular board. Which was my case.  That and I'm a raging neurotic.

All above image sources can be found here

ALSO, DO THEY MAKE SIPPY CUPS THAT DON'T LEAK??? Anybody have any good suggestions on cups that don't spilleth over? On a daily basis, I am constantly cleaning up leaked water. I've tried a half a dozen different sippy cups to no avail. And we have hardwood, so me and the kid are constantly slipping and sliding on the puddles. It's like a water park in my home most days.  Anyone else have this problem? Just us? Well alright.

HOW TO NAME ART

For me, naming my pieces is part of the fun of creating new art. I thrive on wacky titles. My newest piece is titled: "Is this how you do yoga?" I also thoroughly enjoy making the captions for these when I post on social media:) You may remember this tank top that has obviously inspired this title.

Follow me on Instagram to see more.